Daniel Craig seemed like he would be a sleek or hard-boiled detective, before bringing his Texan-accented fun Benoit Blanc to life. Edward Norton, notoriously difficult to work with, was the perfect self-aware choice for unlikeable Elon-a-like Miles. Janelle Monae is the multifaceted actual protagonist Andi, Dave Bautista as the dumb muscle streamer, Kathryn Hahn as the career woman politician; all of which they were brilliantly cast.

This snapshot moment that Glass Onion is set in, paired with the celebrity version of the closed room mystery, gives this film a much more satirical aspect. The humour and genre keep it light, but there's some razor sharp critique and well-deserved mockery of both certain famous people and their entire out-of-touch celebrity world. The ending, combining the murderer's comeuppance and some political justice, gives the audience a strong gleeful feeling of vengeance and schadenfreude.

However, this isn't just a good murder mystery and satire, it's a really good film. Full use is made of flashbacks, either revealing a more detailed or alternative view of a previous scene or giving you a chance to rewatch a moment with the perspective of new information. Blanc's talk through of the murder is shown, masterfully, with different characters as murderer in each shot. The changed scenes are especially brilliant, the time equivalent of a zoom in on something. Foreshadowing hangs deliberately and obviously in multiple places, keeping the tension high with a "but which of those is it?" for the observant. Things that don't quite seem right are revealed as deliberate clues and as red herrings.

A talented and worthy sequel to the first Knives Out, Glass Onion is an exciting and enjoyable caper. If a third Knives Out is made, and it's as good as this, it could be an iconic series.

When they discover a way to bring the dead back to life, their attempts to build their park in the land of the living pulls Kat into a quest to bring her parents back from the dead, the evil prison corporation into a plan to finally decimate the small town and build their ultimate school-to-prison pipeline. Thrown in are demon hunters, school cliques and possession-based super powers; this is not a film to just put on in the background. Hopefully the sheer amount of backstory and complex characters is enough for a sequel or a spin off.

Race and gender are core facets of the story, with the protagonist Kat being a black or African American girl. The prison system and anti-black racism in the US are inseparable, and Jordan Peele's groundbreaking debut as a director was the racism themed horror Get Out. Whilst the demons are Key and Peele and half of the villainous power couple is a black man, Kat being black is integral to the prison criticism theme. Likewise, the school is an all-girls school taught by nuns, and it's all but said that demon possession and the superpowers it comes with is a female-only experience. This centring of women in terms other than sexuality/relationships or stereotypically 'feminine' traits such as being supportive or cute, is still a bold and important decision, especially one for a mainly male writing and production team to have made.

Another powerful choice was made in regards to gender, and one that they could have easily not have included without any effect on the plot: Kat's friend and ally is her fellow pupil Raul. A boy at an all-girls school, there's a quick scene where the clique call him his old name and say its hard to get used to and one where his mother corrects an unheard voice on the phone that she has a son, but aside from that this canonically trans character is completely accepted as a boy called Raul by every single character. It's a lovely inclusive detail and a perfect example of trans characters not being defined by their gender, as he's an artist and one of the few characters not to have shady or conflicted motivations.

Of course, it's hard for an adult without children to judge a children's film. Will kids love it? Will it's important messages be lost on them or too much for them? I can't say, but I do know a lot of children's films are quick buck garbage full of toxic messages or simply advertising, so it's definitely worth trying it. It's a good child-friendly horror and entertaining for adults too. 

Some of the most absurd elements come into play with the universe hopping, as they do odd things to trigger jumps and explore each alternative universe. In other lives, Evelyn is a film star, a chef, a scientist, a sign spinner... a rock, a pinata, and a woman with hot dog fingers. The rock universe is has some really touching moments for the family drama; this film is genre-rollercoaster.

The troubled relationships between Evelyn and her husband, Evelyn and her daughter, and Evelyn and her father take up this aspect. Just as there are all these multiverse versions of her, she is also juggling the laundry business, her own hopes and dreams, and her relationships like multiple lives. Her husband is less her life partner to her than he is her business partner, she wants to be close to her daughter but distance her sexuality and girlfriend from her elderly father, and the timing of this multiverse news clashes with both her father's birthday party and the laundrette being last-chance audited.

The villain reveal is heavily foreshadowed, as is the ultimate moral of kindness and happiness. Regardless, the impact it has on Evelyn is powerful, and the audience either reacts with her or can really take in her reaction. Just looking at the poster gives a good idea of the busy-ness, the artfulness and the brilliance of this film, and the fun it has. You'll never look at googly eyes, hot dogs or even the small local businesses around your city the same again.

The ending is clear early on, but its slow inevitability is enjoyable. If the silly parts were removed, the pessimistic idea of just waiting for the end of the world would make for an interesting film. The ironic switch between Leonardo DiCaprio's and Jennifer Lawrence's characters' media abilities and reception is fun and funny; more focus on their characters' relationships would have been better, as DiCaprio's Dr Randall Mindy's relationships plotline is witty. Lawrence's Kate Dibiasky has some relationship time with Timothee Chalamet's Yule, which is far more entertaining than any of the news scenes or Hill's entire character.

​The most annoying part of this film, really, is that it isn't bad. It's just not good. It sits there, teetering between failure and the potential that the concept has. The main actors are great and there are some really strong satirical points, like the Bash capitalism and monopoly parody. But, ultimately, its stunted by its own childish humour. The whole "Don't Look Up" thing is a rushed montage and heavy-handed point about the deliberate ignorance of the right wing. The idea that mainstream groups of people would refuse to look at the sky and say that looking at the sky is propaganda is too far, even in a world with flat earthers and anti-vaxxers.

You can tell that the creators here were patting themselves on the back smugly from the very beginning, and perhaps if they hadn't been so immediately pleased with themselves they might have pushed past their first thoughts and made a clever film. With all the generic versions of things and people, it's amazing NASA allowed their name to be used. The post-credit scene is a giggle, if you can be bothered to wait that long.

When the name of the film itself is a reference to two others (the book Slaughterhouse-Five and the film The Cider House Rules) it's practically a Where's Wally of references. References to Harry Potter abound, and the dialogue references Goodbye, Mr Chips, 300, Freaks, Braveheart. and even Fifty Shades of Grey.

The plot is simple and classic; working class boy goes to public school, and his fish-out-of-water story is disrupted by a monster attack. Three doomed romance subplots, some character rivalries and a Chekhov's lighter; Pegg, Frost and Sheen are having a whale of a time under writer and director Crispian Mills. 

It's pretty funny, it's a little bit scary, and it's exciting. Well worth an afternoon.

Director Yorgos Lanthimos also directed notably weird films The Killing of the Sacred Deer, The Lobster, and Dogtooth. His style comes through with the title cards, one titled "This Mud Stinks" and another "I Dreamed I Stabbed You In The Eye", and some enchantingly wide-angle lens shots distorting rooms and people. The title cards and credits have an interesting ultimately-justified spacing choice, separating letters to the edges of lines; aesthetically good but unfortunately unreadable.

The story is of contrasts; the soft and kindhearted Abigail and her dark life, Abigail's kindness and the cruelness of those around her, her kindness and her descent into cruelty; the kindness and cruelty of Sarah to both Abigail and Queen Anne; the mix of love and abuse between the couples; the tragedy and rage of Queen Anne; the difference between the cousins Sarah and Abigail in their fight to be the titular favourite of Queen Anne.

The tragedy of Queen Anne's character is masterfully depicted by Olivia Colman. The pain of her disability and seventeen lost children strongly affect her actions and explain to us, the audience, her otherwise irrational behaviour. Even as she dismisses important issues and hurts people for her own gain, she is a sad figure clearly acting out of pain. Her transferred motherly affection to her rabbits is mistreated by her lovers, and the moment near the end where Abigail cruelly presses on one rabbit with her foot was shocking to me; the callousness Sarah has towards Anne's lost children was an early indicator she was not also wholly on the side of the Queen.

Other animal abuse shown is the repeated motif of Sarah and Abigail shooting birds together; one moment has a bird shot too close and blood spatter on white clothing. While not too gory, there is also a scene of a horse riding accident and the battered face it gives the victim. The sexual content also teeters around the concept of consent, and both the word and concept of rape are thrown wantonly by characters (but not out of story context). The strange title cards are also sudden and the music deliberately jarring; while far from arthouse, it was surprising to see such a weird film in the cinema.

There are long, uncomfortable close ups with no action to highlight long, uncomfortable silences, and the film just ends with a sudden cut after a long build up. The music also ends mid credits, leaving the way for ambient sounds; both the ending and this lack of music makes you feel more is coming, but there is no post credit scene. The story being told is complete but, as life and history, it carries on after the narrative.

With strong, engaging themes, this is either the weirdest film you will enjoy or a pleasant jump into history or romance for your weirdness. Apart from the historical realism enforcing secrecy and shame, the lesbian theme is casual and the female characters take the foreground and strong and successful - the cheating is more shocking than the fact they are both women, and class is more of a factor than gender, with the male characters nonplussed to treat women as intellectually and power-wise as equal players.

This received Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Lead Actor (Female), Best Supporting Actor (Female) twice, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, Best Production Design and Best Costume Design. It deserves them, as it really is outstanding. The big screen is best for those warping wide angles, so catch it in the cinema while you can.

For what could have been a rushed-out and forgettable movie, the big stars involved put the effort in and made this a really great film. The two romantic relationships shown are very different but also both believable and well portrayed; the characters are well developed and layered. Gruff murderer-for-hire Kincaid reveals he refuses to kill innocents and enjoys his job killing criminals, but isn't too concerned with his moral status. His wife is a violent badass and swears hatefully down the phone to him, but protects him and seems to truly love him.

The genocidal dictator in the background storyline does make for some unpleasant scenes, and a main character does remove a bullet from their leg. These aren't gratuitous and you aren't entangled with other scenes, so you can easily look away for a moment. The action plot violence is mostly from a distance, leading to exciting sequences without unpleasant gore.

The characters do feel very familiar: With this film being made and released between the massively popular and perfectly cast Deadpool and Deadpool 2, it's easy to see why Reynolds character feels like a pre-cancer or alternative universe Wade Wilson. Instead of a lowly heavy for hire, Bryce was at the top of his career as a bodyguard until a client was assassinated. The comparison is more of a fun aside.

Likewise, Jackson has addressed slight criticism that he plays "that same motherfucker" in every film; his Kincaid feels like an older Jules Winnfield. Darius is a hitman with morals and seems to think he's indestructible. In Pulp Fiction, Jules is a hitman who believes a miracle saved his life, and decides to get out of the underbelly work he does. His plan to "wander the earth like Caine in Kung Fu" until G-d gives him a sign of what to do next might have led him to hitmanning. He has the skills, he only kills crimelords, and he still thinks divine intervention is keeping him safe.

Even without this further, theoretical reading, this is a great film with believable and likeable characters. You'll be invested in the storyline and feel sympathetic to the characters. A fun ride through the journey to the court, it's worth putting aside an afternoon to enjoy. By the end, the two men has learned to respect each other and the audience has grown to genuinely care what happens to them now.

The plot is a lot deeper than the cross-dressing, too, giving a logical series of events for the disguise. The mob murder they witness at the start of the plot keeps them on the run from the gangsters right until the end of the film, and the disguise is their only way out of city where the crime took place. As starving artist musicians, they find the rare opportunity to leave Chicago immediately for a while in a band. Only they would need to be under 25. And blonde. And female. Cue disguises. The fact that everybody sees them as female and the men around them are attracted to them isn't played for laughs; it's the men's sleazy behaviour that is the joke, and their realisation of what the women around them face, as well as their trouble staying in character around attractive women.

The romance parts of the romantic comedy aren't as detailed as they could be, but the every plot development is exciting and easy to follow. The band does sort of fall into the background towards the end, playing without their saxophone and double bass for some reason. The end of the film does have a sort of happy ending, with the iconic scene and the line you were waiting for. And just like Osgood says to Daphne/Jerry, nobody's perfect. It's worth a watch but it's unlikely to become your favourite film.

Marilyn Monroe is a sex icon, and her wardrobe in this film is outstanding. She sings a Betty Boop esque "I Wanna Be Loved By You" in a dress that gives a strong impression of toplessness while still being very classy. Covered in glittering sequins, it also has an open back that shows off her curviness. She plays the "dumb blonde" archetype incredibly well, but even as the eye candy there is more to her character; she's the only one that calls herself "not very bright" and shrugs off the criticism of running off with another broke sax player who has already lied to her. The levels of depth to all the main characters is probably why it's stood the test of time. 

On the topic of Hognob, the football plot takes up most of the action and plot, and at no point is it referred to as soccer, nor is any concession made to the fact that people might not be familiar with the sport. Football team name jokes and other British references like the hobnob biscuit are thrown unapologetically and so refreshingly. The plot is a classic underdog story with the unrelated livelihoods of the underdogs on the line. Some smaller subplots pepper the plot with interesting events with a Bronze Age woman who isn't allowed to play because it's a man's sport, an older chief who is at odds with the young and ambitious hunter, and the Bronze Age leader hiding his money-hungry actions from his actual-monarch boss.

Although it is hinted at, there is no romance subplot. There is a thirsty mum, but she's just vaguely after a boyfriend to the never ending embarrassment of her teenage son. There are two main heroes, one male and one female, and they meet and grow to like each other. Making an incredibly welcome change, however, they do not inexplicably fall in love or replace their original, vital happy endings with a romantic one. She gets to play football in front of a cheering crowd, he gets to go home, and no obligatory heterosexual pairing is shoehorned in. They are friends and that is such a relief.

Having seen some behind the scenes videos, the process and sheer scale of a real stop-motion feature film is still hard to comprehend. The small team roots of Aardman is still there at the core, with a surprisingly small team making the huge sets and numerous models of each character. The handmade aesthetic is kept by doing so much by hand, and being sure not to smooth away all the thumbprints. The ridiculous amount of work that goes into an Aardman Animation really shows, and the beauty of the models and items is breathtaking. Take a moment to admire the artistry in any moment, and keep an eye out for the repeated football motif all over the city sets.

As always, Nick Park and co have really nailed the concept of a family film. The characters are simple but believable, the story easy to follow and compelling, and the humour funny to adults without going over children's heads. This diverse appeal means it can thoroughly entertain the children without annoying you, or you could happily watch this by yourself. As per usual, Aardman shows the rest of the children's film business how it should be done.

The basic plot is that, to judge humanity, a random person is given the power to do... well, absolutely anything. You can guess every single thing that happens next: he wants a sexy body... he gets a sexy female body; his coworker wants the hot coworker woman to worship him... she starts a religion; he wants to be in a relationship with the hot neighbour woman, and messes it up in trite romcom fashion. The aliens find humans despicable, like dogs and have an overly long winded 'weird' sounding language. Nothing was even amusing, just a pile of cliches and barely-bothered story.

The women are treated like objects by the men, the protagonist sort of learns a lesson about power, the dog talks about sex and biscuits, it all ends with things back to the status quo with the slight improvement that he's actually spoken to the hot neighbour woman.

You could write it off as a children's film, except for the fact that it deliberately presents itself as not a children's film. Before he is aware of his powers, Simon Pegg's character shouts "Screw you!" at a truck driver and we are shown the driver's suddenly-sex reaction. Once the dog is given the ability to talk and think rationally, he makes sexual references. It doesn't want to be a children's film, but it hasn't got it in it to stand up to an adult's standards of 'funny'.

An utter waste of the big names and Monty Python cast, of the plot idea, and of the Arri Alexa memory space it was filmed on. It's worst offence, of course, is being the last film the legendary Robin Williams was in. This is a film that you not only should not watch, but should forget the existence of entirely.